


Contingency

by binary_sunrise



Category: Spider-Man - All Media Types, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)
Genre: I don't really know - Freeform, I guess you can decide whether or not you want to be sad haha, Or did Tony just snoop and find this on Peter's computer?, is he dead?, rated for mentions of death and the occasional bad word lol
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-05
Updated: 2017-09-05
Packaged: 2018-12-24 07:43:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,318
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12008181
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/binary_sunrise/pseuds/binary_sunrise
Summary: Hey, Mr. Stark. Or, Tony, I guess. If you’re watching this, then…  yeah. I’m… I died. So that sucks. I hope it was… you know, badass.





	Contingency

**Author's Note:**

> I wanted this out of my drafts, haha.

Hey, Mr. Stark. Or, Tony, I guess. If you’re watching this, then…  yeah. I’m… I died. So that sucks. I hope it was… you know, badass.

 

It’s fine, though. I mean, it’s not exactly, you know,  _ideal_ ;  like I said, this sucks  _big time_ . All that studying for the ACT, _wasted._ And, knowing my luck, I'll probably kick the bucket before I even get laid. I'll be the first superhero in  _history_ to die a virgin. 

 

Hell, I probably didn't even make it to 2018 to see the new Han Solo movie. Typical.

 

But, if you’re watching this, that means you’re okay and the Earth is more or less in one piece and I guess that's... that should be something we both can live with.  Or something  _ you _ can live with, at least. Haha _. _

 

Now, I know what you’re thinking: it’s easy to talk about dying when I’m sitting here on my bed filming this and, you know,  _not currently dying_.  And that’s probably true, honestly. But I doubt I’ll be in a good mental state to pull out my phone and record a farewell video when I’m bleeding out in some alley or falling off a plane or whatever, so it's this or nothing.

 

I might not know how it’s gonna happen, or when, or why, but I know it’s... I don't want to say _inevitable_ , but it's kinda true. It's like... I don't know, like when you become grimly aware that things are starting wrap up in an awesome movie. You know that it can’t go on forever, but there’s a sort of bitterness when the credits first start to roll, because the ending is unsatisfying or cliffhanger-y or somehow left you feeling like a three-hour movie  _ wasn’t long enough. _

 

But I promise you, for what it's worth, I've been around death enough times to know that it doesn’t scare me. It’s just another thing to cross off the bucket list. Maybe not this  _ soon _ , but it’s always been a, uh, a sort of occupational hazard, right? For all of us. The movie has to end some time.

 

I guess what I’m trying to say is, it happens, Mr. Stark. People die. And let’s be honest, now that I’m dead and you can’t yell at me: I’ve outlived people that were a lot more careful than me. I’ve taken chance after chance and if my chances are spent, well… I guess it’s about time my luck catches up to me. 

 

I had a, uh… a pretty close call last night, actually. And I thought… well, it got me thinking, you know? One of these days I’m gonna get myself into a situation I can’t wiggle out of and suddenly it’ll be curtains for me, and…. There’s a lot of stuff, mushy gushy stuff, that shouldn’t go unsaid just because I can’t even manage to  _ die  _ at the right time. 

 

I’m gonna make separate videos for May and Ned, too, just to say thanks and stuff, but they probably won’t be as long as this one. I’d like to think they know where we stand. They don’t need a video to tell them how much they mean to me. 

 

But you… you’re great and everything, but you don’t do… feelings... well. You’ve never exactly invited the sentimental stuff; I'm pretty sure you'd rather shove toothpicks in your ears than sit through some sappy goodbye. I’m dead now, though, so… I dunno, I guess you’re just gonna have to listen. 

 

First off, thank you. That might sound weird coming from a dead guy but honestly, thank you so, so much. I was… When you showed up, I was pretty lost. Uncle Ben had just died and I had these weird-ass spider powers and not to get all dark and stuff but I probably would have considered it a blessing if one of my web prototypes had snapped thirty stories above New York and I’d turned into a fleshy pancake. It was… a bit not good, haha. 

 

And then I come home from school one day and find Iron Man chatting with my aunt on the ratty old couch in our ratty old apartment in Queens and next thing I know I’m fighting Captain America in a rad new suit in some random airport in Germany and suddenly the world doesn’t seem so… dim. 

 

I’m not saying my life wouldn’t be a bit safer if I’d never met you, but it would have been miserable.  _ I  _ would have been miserable. Sitting through Spanish tests and Decathalon, day in and day out, when I  _knew_ was capable of doing so much more, had me... well, crawling up the walls, no pun intended. But stopping bad guys, saving the world alongside the _Avengers_ , being  _Spiderman_... It made me feel like my life meant something, like there was a _reason_ for everything I'd been through to get to where I am. 

 

Now, that doesn’t mean whatever’s happened to me since is your fault. I can hear it now: “I shouldn’t have let him fight, I should have kept him safe, blah blah blah.” No offense. But like… no. You have this… I don’t want to say it’s a bad habit, because you’re awesome and everything, but it’s definitely not good. It’s like you  _ like  _ to feel guilty and sad and stuff. And somewhere along the line, you got it in your head that you were somehow responsible for me and the choices I make.  

 

The thing is, I was Spiderman long before I started wearing the awesome tricked-out suit you gave me, in case you’ve forgotten. Pathetic and sad, sure, but no more careful or safe. Probably less so, honestly. And whether or not I was invited to whatever my last little throwdown turns out to be, I would have been there either way. 

 

I’m sure the suit you made for me stopped a lot of those bullets or explosions or whatever we ended up fighting. I’m sure everything you ever taught me came in handy. I’m sure you had my back throughout the whole fight. I’m sure you did everything you could to try and save me. 

 

You have  _nothing_ to feel guilty about. And you can tell Aunt May I said so.

 

I mean really, if there’s anyone that should be sorry, it’s me. And not just for biting the dust, either, though again, I do feel really bad about that. I don’t know what I did or how I died but it’s probably a safe bet that I was reckless or clumsy and now May and Ned and anyone else that gives half a shit about me is going to be left with the fallout and I’m  _ sorry _ .  

 

I’m sorry you’re alive, watching this stupid video. I’m sorry you lived long enough to lose more people. I’m sorry I couldn’t stay in your corner until the sky came crumbling down or you didn’t need me anymore, like I had planned to be. 

 

Anyway, I… shit. Aunt May must be cutting onions or something, or I… maybe there’s something in my eye, I don’t know. I gotta… I think I have allergies or something. I’m gonna go, uh, find some Benadryl or… yeah. 

 

You know what? No. No no no no no. This video is too pathetic to exist. This is supposed to be, like, my last impression, and I’m here crying and apologizing for things that haven’t even happened. Typical. I’m just gonna...

 

Actually… no. I’m not gonna… no. 

 

I mean, if nothing else, this epic fail of a video is going to serve as further motivation to not die, right? So… Yeah. I’m not gonna delete it. It’s staying. With any luck this cheese fest will just rot on my computer until the earth is bad-guy-free and our suits are nothing more than Halloween costumes, but… Yeah.

 

Peace out, Mr. Stark. Thanks for everything. Don’t stop being awesome. 

**Author's Note:**

> Come find me on tumblr!


End file.
